So, quickly, before I get started on the Bruno extravaganza I want to point out the relationship between Lance and Alyssa.  Supposedly Lance is the lovable idiot, and Alyssa is a sexy body guard to the king; maybe there's going to be some sort of romance in their future?

(c)Stevie V.D. Laar, Classy as fuck.

But don't take my word for it.  Listen to Lance:  The main character/a paradigm of justice/a total horndog.

My name is Lance!

It's okay though, because as stupid as Lance is and as sexist as some of these comments may come off as,  It all gets worse, and keeps on going straight down from there.

She's 5'7" and 119 lbs, and ten of those pounds are breast meat.

But wait, as the bodyguard of the king, shouldn't she have a rather noble reputation?  Maybe she's just trying to make new friends, and joke around so they don't remember how she wanted to imprison and torture them.  Right?

My arguments = getting harder to make all the time.

I think she just gets a bad rap.  She's a good bodyguard, the King trusts her.  She's going off on a super important mission to the King of Lentha!  She'll go and rub elbows with royalty!  She has to have some class, at the very least.

Wait... She reminds me of...!

I understand it now.  I think I know who Alyssa reminds me of!

Here it comes, ladies and mentlegen.